


Gollum's Girl

by soilsqueeze



Category: Lord of the Rings - Fandom, The Hobbit
Genre: Gen, Gollum romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soilsqueeze/pseuds/soilsqueeze
Summary: Gollum goblin girlfriend wants to get married.  He already has a ring!





	Gollum's Girl

Gollum’s Girl

 

“I have one more riddle to teach you.” The goblin girl said to Gollum as she sat down, as if she were trying to imprint her backside on the stone. She was happy today, unlike the first time he saw her, lost, looking for fresh air that would lead to escape. She had been down to see him many times since he met her, going back up to the heart of the mountain, eating, sharpening arrows, swords, he imagined, and she looked much fatter than his first glimpse of her. That was a good thing. At least Gollum thought it was. Something strange was happening to his mind; going back to before he met her.

“Trickses?” He said, with an anxious tone, all excitement hanging under his breath. 

“Riddles aren’t trickses when you know them. Just listen. What has a spine, but no bones?” She put to him simply. He looked at her with big eyes, a blank stare that seemed to forget her existence. He looked at the cave walls, at the rocks next to his cold feet, his smashing stone for fish he found in the deep of the cave. He didn’t know. 

“Trickses! Trickses!” He wailed. He had done this many times before. Some of the riddles he knew. They seemed to bubble up in his head from a past his present mind had left behind long ago. He felt that the company of this girl, goblin or not, was a sign that his past had been forgiven. After all, every other stray goblin that had met with Golem had also met his end, with a slip of the Ring and a swift crack of the stone, also used for other meats. 

The Ring, he thought. Maybe that’s the answer to the riddle! A few thoughts away lay the answer to his riddle, though he was starting to think it had nothing to do with bones. He thought for a couple of seconds, his mind straining to find the words. 

“A book!” She finally said. 

“A book, yes, a book…” His thoughts trailed off into an unusual silence. Usually when the orc girl told him the answer, he guessed or he heard, either way jumping in throws of excitement. But this was different. The Ring. Something about the ring. That’s it!

Gollum spoke this time to the girl. He said, “Close its eyes!”

The goblin girl knew what was happening. Gollum was going to propose. She had waited a long time for this. There had been talk of a ring around the circles she spoke in up in the heart of the mountain. She had seen the adoring look in his eye when he understood the riddles he taught her. She was young, one of the more attractive of the group. She knew she wasn’t one of the smarter ones. That’s why she took such pains to memorize riddles. Not that intelligence was a popular goblin trait, but even of the goblins she knew, she hardly picked any up. She had spent time with her father in the caverns, straining to make him proud in some way. In the end, they had starved her and sent her below to none knew where stray goblin went when their time was up. It was there that she met this strange creature and found a new beginning, eating and making arrow tips for her masters. “A ring?” Gollum had gotten down on one knee and was taking something out underneath a stone near her. Gollum’s voice got low and terrible. ‘Just the way a suitor’s voice should be’, she thought to herself in her warped goblin knowledge. 

“Yes. A Ring.” Gollum said. A fear had grown within him, his eyes big again, his heart pounding. He did have a plan, but it wasn’t the kind of plan that’s thought out and discussed. It was the kind of plan that comes from within, like magma from a volcano that rapidly erupts He raised a shaking, fist to her, and at the last second, opened it. In his grimy, slimy hand was The Ring. 

She could barely contain herself. She took it from his palm and gazed at its shimmering glow. “Oh, Gollum!” She turned to look at it in the dim light. Gollum picked up the rock that hid it; his best striking rock, hit her on the head, and ate her.


End file.
